All I Want
by Lady Dudley
Summary: A Paric Christmas crack!fic/slightly OOC number. Hope you enjoy anyway :)


**A/N: This is based on something that hansprincessa and I were joking about on Tumblr the other day, in relation to Heath Ledger's dance number in _10 Things I Hate About You_. As a consequence this is probably more of a crack!fic than anything else and completely different to what I originally had in mind. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Oh, and I'm sure you'll all recognise the song ;) Merry Christmas! x**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**

**_All I Want_  
**

It had all started with a glib remark from Jason Stackhouse, followed by a few choice observations by Nora and then a throwaway remark from Sookie.

These, combined with a host of other little things, all added up to the reason why Eric found himself dressed as a Christmas Elf and sliding down the pole at Fangtasia.

Needless to say all eyes in the room – excepting the pair he was attempting to attract – were on him as he opened his mouth and started to sing.

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There's just one thing I need  
I don't care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree"_

A slight stiffening of her spine was the only sign that she was even listening.

_"I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is..."_

He paused for dramatic effect as she slowly turned around, one eyebrow raised.

"You," he said seriously, forgetting to sing as he looked deep in her eyes.

He started a little as the backing track started to play, collecting himself he continued the song; shimmying across the table tops to where she stood at the bar watching him with her arms crossed.

"…_I just want to see my baby  
Standing right outside my door  
Oh I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
Baby all I want for Christmas is…"_

He jumped off the last table and, upon landing, knelt at her feet, "_You_."

The backing track faded away and the stunned patrons broke into applause. Eric didn't hear them; he was too busy watching Pam for her reaction.

She cleared her throat, "Very nice," she said after a moment, "I think you've missed your calling," she added sarcastically.

Eric got to his feet, "That's it?" he demanded, unconsciously towering over her.

"Oh, were you expecting me to fall at your feet?" she snapped.

"That was the general idea," he grumbled.

"You can embarrass yourself in public all you want, Eric, don't expect me to do that same," she told him flatly, turning on her heel and marching off.

Eric turned to watch her go and caught sight of the Fangtasia crowd all looking a little awkward. "What are you looking at?" he snapped, making them all jump and the music to suddenly resume.

He grunted and stalked after Pam, shedding parts of his costume as he went.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded as he grabbed her by the elbow and started to drag her into his office.

"We are going to settle this, _now_," he told her with forced calmness, ignoring her attempts to break free from his hold.

"There's nothing to settle," she huffed as he thrust her unceremoniously into a chair.

"I think there is, things have changed between us Pam and I don't like it," he told her, taking a seat opposite her.

"I think it's a little late for you to decide you're unhappy with the situation, Eric. You made your bed, with Sookie in it," she said bitterly, "you can't blame me if you suddenly no longer wish to lie in it."

"You should know better than anyone that there is only one woman I chose to spend eternity with," he snapped.

"Really? What about Nora? Planning on staking her are you?" she shot back.

"Don't be stupid, she's my _sister_," he retorted.

"I thought you f*cked like champions," she replied sweetly.

Eric's eyes narrowed dangerously, "I am not going to deny that Nora is important to me or that Sookie is someone I care about," he began in a low tone, "but I would kill either of them myself if it would keep you safe."

Pam looked a little startled by this declaration, "You released me," she said quietly.

"You said you understood," he replied, just as quietly.

"That didn't mean I liked it."

"I couldn't let you die for me."

Pam smirked a little, "That's a big assumption, I have a child of my own now."

Eric fought back a smile of his own, "How thoughtless of me not to remember."

"But you _are_ the only one I would die for," she confessed, "but only because of the elf suit," she added, suddenly ceasing to be so serious.

Eric smirked, "Thought you might like it."

"What a pity you're not a present so I can't unwrap you," she continued with mock regret.

"Perhaps I could unwrap you instead," he suggested, pulling her chair closer to his.

"Perhaps you could," she agreed.

Eric grinned and made to pull her out of her chair, but she evaded his grasp.

"But it's not Christmas yet," she informed him, sauntering over to the door.

Eric stared after her for a few moments, "F*ck Christmas," he muttered and disappeared after her.


End file.
